"Only" 2.8 lbs

I got on the scale this morning and saw the result of my hard work. 2.8 pounds. My first reaction was disappointment, but as I got into the shower I started to put things into perspective. When I first started last Tuesday, I was hard core, no carbs no sugars, nothing but lean proteins and vegetables. I was also miserable, and I broke. I had a quarter pounder and fries on Saturday and then on Sunday a piece of cake. My "hard" work wasn't going to pay off because this was not a way I could live. I didn't gain all this weight at once, I am not gonna lose it all at once and to lose it, I needed something that worked. Luckily I figured out  quite quickly what was gonna work for me. I immediately added fruit back into my diet and gave myself permission to have a small cheat a day. That cheat being a tablespoon of peanut butter that I mix with a banana. Delicious!! I am happy, the scale was still down and 2.8 lbs ain't that bad. I am proud of that loss and know I am more likely to keep it off with a "diet" that I can stick with it. One week in and I am feeling good.

195.8

195.8 - it is what the scale said this morning. That is the number that keeps running through my brain. That is what I have been obsessing about all morning. 195.8. How did I get here? How did it let myself go so much? Why can't I stop over eating and over induldging? I have a lot of questions and a lot of thinking to do. But right now, all I can think about it is 195.8

Sad

Feeling sad today. I forgot to grab my food this morning on the way out the door which lead to a long spiral of horrible eating. I am getting back on that wagon, but was just so disappointed with how the day went. Tomorrow is a new day and a new chance to start over. I plan on taking that opportunity and running with it. Hopefully I will remember my meals tomorrow.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the day. I have my list, I know what I need to do and I am going for it. I am just going to eat as little processed foods as possible and avoid sugars and white flour and bad carbs. I am beyond ready. Weigh in on Monday. I am afraid of the damage, but I know it is fixable.

Wake Up Call

It's settled. The family and I have to start eating healthier. My son, who is 11, came into the living room without his shirt on. He is big, he is unhealthy and I have done this to him. I have failed him. Again. I know I have posted on this subject before, and I guess I just let us all slip back into our unhealthy habits to the detriment of all of our healths. A change is coming. I need to throw out the unhealthy foods in the house and start fresh. A new beginning for all of us.

2 Years

Wow! It has nearly been 2 years since I last posted in here. A lot has happened and a lot of weight has been gained. I am bigger than I have ever been. I had to buy new clothes and have now graduated from Women's clothing to Plus Size. I am rather embarrassed because I cannot seem to stick to any healthy eating plan. I do great for a couple of months and then fall off the wagon. I know the secret to weight loss is to eat healthy and exercise, sounds easy enough, but for some reason I can't stick with it. I wish there were an easy button and that I could find the magical potion that turns me back into a size 8. I know it doesn't exist, but a little wishful thinking never hurt anything right?

I suppose I came back here to start over, to start fresh. I did so well when I was losing for Chad and David's wedding. I would love to be back there, heck, I think I would be happy to be at my beginning weight when I started back then! There goes the wishful thinking again.

Time for me to sign off here and come up with a plan. I need to lose 50 lbs. It is going to be a long slow process, so I need to think about what I need to do to get there and set some goals for myself. Next time I post here, I hope to have a game plan in mind.

Until next time

Long Time

It's been a long time since I have posted here. I lost just enough weight before the wedding to get into my bridesmaids dress. Then I started eating again and haven't stopped. My clothes barely fit and I have been pretty down about it, but just not motivated enough to do anything about it. I may start again soon. I have to find a plan that fits my lifestyle and not just a temporary, short-term plan. South Beach works really well for me, I just wish that I could stay long term on the plan. Once I get to the point that I can reintroduce carbs, I go crazy on them and fall off the wagon every time.

I have been reading up on the Paleo diet, but that looks like it involves a lot of creativity and cooking, which I don't have a lot of time for with football season here. We have practice 3-4 nights a week from 6 - 8 and games on Saturdays. We live off of convenience food during this time of year.

I may just have to wait it out until the season is over before I make a commitment to myself. I know I am setting myself up for failure if I try it now.

Did It!

I managed to get down to my lowest weight in just 5 days. I super pumped by this. However, I do think I had a little help from a certain antibiotic that I was given for strep throat. The effect it had on my stomach with no doubt contribute to a loss in weight. I am still a little surprised by the loss as I really haven't exercised since Tuesday. I started feeling crappy on Wednesday and while I feel much better today, it is the first time that I have felt slightly human since Tuesday night.

Today should be a good day exercise wise. The bestie and I are going to finish the choreography for a dance that we will be doing at the wedding in May. According to her calorie burner, 2 hours of the dance should burn approximately 900 and something calories. Needless to say, if I don't manage to over do it today, I should be down even more tomorrow.

I have 7 weeks left until the wedding and 11 more lbs to go. I am very excited to be able to show off the newer leaner me in my beautiful brides maid gown.

New Beginnings

I went off my diet for a while. I don't know what happened, I just lost control. I am a huge comfort eater, not that I had anything bad going on, but food just gives me the warm fuzzies and it is something that I will always struggle with. I decided that today would be a new day and a new beginning. Since my house has been bombarded by not so good stuff, I am making due with what is on hand at the moment and just watching my calorie intake. I also did 7 miles on the recumbent bike at the gym at work during my lunch break. I plan on doing the same thing tomorrow as well. I have 9 weeks until the wedding. I want to get down 15 lbs by then. I know those are some big numbers, but that would put me at 152 for the wedding and at a decent size. I just have to focus and put my mind to it.

Fail

I have done really bad with my eating this last week or so. I can't seem to get my head in the game. I have not only been eating crap, I have been eating A LOT of crap. I have gained back a few pounds. I wake up each morning with good intentions, but by mid morning I manage to screw up and just keep going down hill from there. I have got to get it together. I have less than 2 months to squeeze my fat ass into a dress that I ordered one size too small. I just can't seem to find the kick in the ass that I need to get back on track.

Back Down

After the trouble I had this past week staying on plan, I have managed to get back down to my lowest weight. The weekends are usually harder for me to stay on plan because that is when we usually go out and do stuff. Add Valentine's Day weekend and my nephews birthday party to the mix and I know I am going to have a good struggle this weekend. I do plan on making some chocolate cupcakes with Vanilla icing this weekend. It is Valentine's day after all. I have already given myself permission to have one, I am just going to have to watch what I eat closely the rest of the day.

Tomorrow I plan on going up to the mountain and hiking with the family and my bestie. I am sure we are going to do the red trail, which is about a 2 mile hike. It is supposed to be beautiful and somewhat warm tomorrow - I love hiking when the weather is so nice.

Despite my set backs, I still have my head in the game. I have a goal in mind and I am going to work my ass off to get there. I know I can do it and won't stop until I make it.

Not Much

Not to much to report, but I don't want to get out of the habit of not blogging about everything.

I had a pretty bad week food wise. I haven't really been staying on plan like I should and I have seen a little uptick on the scale. I start out the day with good intentions, but I keep getting side tracked. Just as I was wondering what was wrong with me, I got my answer. Time of the month is here (sorry fellas that read this). I knew something has been going on because I haven't had this much of a struggle staying on plan since I started. Hopefully the exercise that I have been doing will help off set this set back that I am going through. I am up to 2.08 miles on the treadmill, slowly creeping my way up to 3.

Now that I know what my problem is this week, I should be able to get back on track. I am not going to let something like this sabotage all my hard work. I just have to keep on going on not look back.

Motivation

Yesterday the Girl Scout cookies that I ordered came in. I wanted to be strong, I wanted to not open the pack, I wanted to just not NEED those cookies. But that didn't happen. Instead I opened the box and ate nearly one whole sleeve of those cookies. Those wonderful peanut buttery Do-Si-Do cookies. Of course, I immediately regretted my actions. Instead of saying "Forget it! I screwed up!" I immediately jumped back on the wagon and kept going like it never happened.

This past weekend some of my favorite people in the whole wide world came into town to go bridesmaid dress shopping. We had a blast at the bridal store and walked out with our dresses ordered. Our dresses are absolutely fabulous, I cannot wait until they come in. I ordered mine one size smaller than I fit in now to keep myself motivated to stay on track. Every time I want something bad to eat, I tell myself to think of that dress and how awesome it is going to look when I put it on. I want to look good not only to be proud of myself, but I want to make David and Chad proud on their wedding day as well.

Also, to help keep things going and hopefully make these moments weakness have less of an impact, I have started using my treadmill. I went 1.5 miles yesterday and 2 miles today. I am just doing a run/walk for 30 minutes, but eventually want to work myself up to a 30 minute straight run. This is my favorite form of exercise and the easiest thing for me to do at home. Who knows, maybe I will work myself into doing a 5K or more. Right now my goal is to get in shape anything else that comes of it is just a bonus.

Holy Weight Loss Batman!

Today is an exciting day for me. My very good friends Chad, David and Todd have come in from Georgia to pick out bridesmaids dresses for my bestie and me. We are going to be the best girls in Chad and David's wedding in May.

My mom called me bright and early this morning and she was asking about my weight loss. I got on the scale to see what was going on and saw another 2 pounds lost! That is a total of 15 pounds. I am so excited right now! This is probably the best weight loss result I have had on any diet that I have ever attempted. I don't know what is so different this time. If it is the motivation or if I am finally just doing it right, it doesn't really matter though, just as long as it works.

I have a lot of support and encouragement among my family and friends. People are constantly keeping me in check and making sure that I am doing the right things. It makes the hard times better because I know so many people are cheering for me. All my friends on facebook have been amazing as well. The encouraging words that come when I post updates keep me going, even when I don't feel like staying on plan - I think about all the encouraging words from everyone and it keeps me in check.

I have only 9 more pounds to get to my first big goal of 154. That will put me withing a healthy weight range and BMI. I have come so far in a short amount of time, yet I have so much further to go. But I can do it and I will do it. I have the best support system that anyone can ask for and I really think that is the difference this time.

Lucky 13

I got on the scale this morning and was concerned because I was sure that there would be a lot of damage from last night. I had an emotional draining day that ended with the boy grounded and me with a headache from hell. When the husband called to tell me he was on his way home from work, I asked him to pick up some Taco Bell. I ate it all very happily finishing up 2 soft taco supremes and a nacho supreme. At that point I didn't care about carbs or calories or fat or sodium. All I wanted was the greasy, cheesy goodness to take away the stress from the day. Of course, after I had inhaled all my food, I immediately felt remorse. There was nothing that I could do at that point, except jump back on the wagon and keep going. So, back to this morning. I got on the scale expecting to see some numbers that I didn't want to and instead was welcomed by a 1 pound weight loss. Making sure that I wasn't seeing things, or not standing on the scale right, I got back off and on and sure enough one pound gone. I have lost a total of 13 pounds so far. I am so happy that my poor choices last night didn't come back to haunt me. I am not going to take that for granted though and just keep eating crap (that's what got me here in the first place). I am going to take it for what it is, a TEMPORARY lapse in judgement and move forward. I still have 11 more pounds to lose to make my first big goal and I don't want anything else slowing me down.

Half Way!

I am halfway to my (first) goal weight of 154 lbs. Down 12 another 12 to go! This is going a lot faster than I expected and so much easier than any other time that I have dieted. I have had plenty of "bad" foods put in front of me that I have very easily said no to. I can't even call them temptations, because they never really tempted me. I keep healthy snacks handy at all times, so the desire to binge due to being over hungry or because there is cake, etc around, is just not there.

In other news. I scored a treadmill today from a friend. She sold it to me for $50 which is awesome. I really wanted one, but being that I am broke, I couldn't spend big money. Right after I got the treadmill, another friend called and said she had a friend that was giving away some weight equipment and she knew that I was looking. She sent a picture and it is gorgeous and looks brand new! And the best part is that is free! That is definitely something I can afford.

The husband is actually excited about it, because while he wants to work out, he has no time to go anywhere to work out because of his crazy work hours. We are also going to do some major strength training with Carter to get him in shape for football this year. He is moving up a league this year and will be playing with the big kids. We want him to be able to keep up. If we put some muscle behind his weight he will be freaking unstoppable!!

I am just happy that I was able to get my family something we can all enjoy and improve our health with and the fact that they are just as excited about it as I am is the icing on the cake (no pun intended).

One Month

I have been doing this for one month. In one month I made the decision to become healthier. In one month I started making my family healthier. In one month I have lost 11 pounds. With everything I I have accomplished in one month, I can't wait to see what my progress looks like in month 2.

Next weekend Chad and David are coming into town so we can pick out the bridesmaids dresses for their wedding. I am actually looking forward to trying on the dresses. Being 11 pounds lighter has given me a good bit of confidence and I know when the time comes for me to stand up next to these two wonderful men while they pledge their lives and love too each other, I will be confident in myself and not trying to hide in the corner. I am proud to be Chad's best girl and I want him to be proud of me too.

Another Goal Met!

The scale this morning reflected a total of 11 lbs down. That marks off another mini goal that I had of losing 10 lbs. My new goal is to be down a total of 17.8 lbs which will put m at 10% of my starting body weight.

I have been doing pretty well on the eating front. A stressful situation has come about that makes it difficult for me to eat anything. I hope when this shit storm is over that I don't gain back. Maybe this will shrink my stomach even more so I won't need to eat as much.

I have decided to start working out in February. We have a small gym at the office that I am going to take advantage of. I will start out slow on the recumbent bike and work myself up to the treadmill and elliptical. I don't want to go in balls blazing because every time I do that I end up taking out my back. So starting on Monday, I will have my work-out clothes with me hoping to burn a few extra calories.

One Mini- Goal Met! One Pound Away From Another!

Got on the scale this morning and am now in the 160's! This was one of the mini goals that I set for myself. It is a 9 lb loss, but also makes me 1 lb away from my other mini goal of 10 lbs gone! I am very excited. These losses keep me motivated. I know the losing will slow down the closer that I get to goal, so I am going to enjoy it while it lasts!

Mine and my husband's 12 year wedding anniversary will be here tomorrow. Since we are a little tight on cash we are just going to spend a nice quiet evening at home. I am planning on making white chicken chili. I hope it is as good as it sounds.

Loose

I got on the scale this morning and now have a loss of about 8 lbs. I really can't tell that I have lost weight, but my clothes are a lot looser than they were before. I wish that I had taken measurements and the beginning of this journey so I could track the inches that I am loosing.

All in all, a good week food-wise. My friend Shanna sent me a recipe for an awesome looking Tuna Guacamole. I can't wait to try this soon! I also need to try the White Chicken Chili that I posted about here. I am going to wait for the weekend though so that I have time to let the ingredients meld together and not rush it.

I had a fantastic week food wise despite the great pasta incident. I even turned down several temptations this week at work. They had cake yesterday, I am usually not a big fan of cake, but I could smell the sugary goodness from other people's plates. I am glad that I had a bowl of blackberries with me, because they really helped me get past it.

I have been doing this for almost a month now and while my eating hasn't been "clean" per se, it has been better than what I have been doing in the past. As long as my clothes continue to sag and the scale keeps going down, I will be a happy girl!